that's an acceptable place to lick
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
