Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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