I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
