It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
