I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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