I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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