yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
