Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Semen is not good for contacts.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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