Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
