I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
