fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
