I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
