3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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