my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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