After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
