I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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