he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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