So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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