The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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