Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
