Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
