So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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