are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
