I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's Friday. Sex?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
