im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
