What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
