Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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