are you still at the devil's house?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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