i permit you to call me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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