do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
