somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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