I've blown a few things in my day
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
