I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
