im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
