I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
