I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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