Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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