those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
