What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
