My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
MIDGETS
????
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
