his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
