apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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