I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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