Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
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Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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