I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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