oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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