he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
