what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
