matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
