the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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