Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
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He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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