Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
