I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
