dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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