It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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