My friends, they love my intelligence
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize