"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
