then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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