She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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