do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
