try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
