Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
