His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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