did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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