beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
