the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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