Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
