Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
At least life still wants to fuck me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
