GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
